If you’re like me and have taken up Taekwondo (or any form of martial arts training) in your 40s or similar, I’m willing to bet you just might have experienced a few of these stages…
1
I suck at EVERYTHING!
2
Master a new technique. I’m the KING of the WORLD!!! 
3
Struggling through the BIG compromises you have to make with your dignified attachment to personal space. No better way to make awesome new friends than trying to escape your training partner’s (eh hem) mount hold.
4
You realise sparring with children is NOT a good idea and NOT because they’ll get hurt. Their little knees are right at shin height. Oucheeeee!!!
5
I suck at EVERYTHING!
6
While the rest of the world is bingeing out on Netflix you as a Middle Aged Beginner Martial Artist are main-lining on Youtube clips. From instructional videos to kick tricks and specky breaking to gob-smacking KO’s.
7
New stripe on your belt. I’m the KING of the WORLD!!!
8
You reach a point where you feel like giving Instagram a big “Up Yours” because if you see ONE MORE too-filter-perfect pic of yet ANOTHER side kick that looks like someone doing full splits in the air you may just Hulk out.
9
Anti-inflammatories of EVERY kind become your new best friend – creams, tablets, heat packs, cold packs, heck even throw in a bit of turmeric, magnesium and Himalyan rock salt blessed by Monks ‘cause you’ve heard that’ll help too!
10
I suck at EVERYTHING!
11
Friends and family have developed that glazed look in their eyes when you start jabbering on about your training…A.GAIN!
12
Finally tie belt correctly WITH ends the SAME length.
13
I’m the KING of the WORLD!!!
- There absolutely must be a whole HEAP more of these so please do add the stages you have experienced into the comments below.
Other posts by The Mortal Mouse you might enjoy:
David
Dead on accurate, and very funny!
I loved, “You reach a point where you feel like giving Instagram a big “Up Yours” because if you see ONE MORE too-filter-perfect pic of yet ANOTHER side kick that looks like someone doing full splits in the air you may just Hulk out.”
Been there!
Kristy
Haha! I recall you mentioning that frustration once before David and you may have just inspired that one! I can absolutely relate.
Buffy
I SO IDENTIFY WITH THIS – but the ostrich look is given to me when I attempt something above my belt level… while injured…when I think they aren’t looking…
Kristy
Bahahahaha!! Classic. Thank you for contributing Buffy. Lovely to hear from you. How’s the injury coming along?
John
Classic and me all over!! I would add “You want me to that on my left side too? I’m flat out with my right!!”
Kristy
True story John! It’s a struggle but we love every minute. 🙂
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MrsBean
I would also add…
* The priceless look on your child’s face when they realise they outrank you.
AND
* When the instructor announces ‘today we’re doing throws and breakfalls’ and you think, ‘let’s skip the middleman and go straight to lying on the floor’